Love Lost
by smilinginthewind
Summary: When Stefan dies, Caroline is confronted by her feelings for him and struggles with how to deal with them and come to terms with them, whilst trying to find a way to bring Stefan back, but unforseen obstacles complicate things.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

**Hello! This is my first fanfiction, so i apologise if this story doesn't make any sense. This is set at the end of 5x21 and is a steroline story, from Caroline's P.O.V and how she felt when Stefan died.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or storyline. All the characters and most of this storyline belong to L.J Smith, Julie Plec and any other tvd writers. The line at the end is also a quote from The Mortal Instruments Book 6 by Cassandra Clare. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**I hope you enjoy this! :-)**

The first thing Caroline felt as he hit the ground was disbelief. There was no way Julian had just killed Stefan, but the heart he gripped in his hand and the horrifying sight of Stefan crumbling to the ground like a lifeless doll, greying and decayed suggested otherwise.

"There, dead doppelganger. Stops the spell" Julian hissed, before tossing Stefan's heart to the ground and walking away.

The final things she felt were shock and grief reverberating through her in shockwaves. As she hurried over to his greying body, she knew, if they all came back from this that she may never be able to look at Tyler the same way again before Stefan's veined, dull and empty face would flash before her eyes.

Because although Julian possessed his body it had been his hand that had yanked out Stefan's heart from his chest so brutally, and it was his voice that had uttered the words "dead doppelganger".

She knew she shouldn't have felt that way, and she didn't know why she did.

The grief coursing through her as she placed Stefan's head into her lap, was completly unbearable, like her heart was the one that had been ripped from her chest and it had been sliced into ribbons.

"Somebody help me!" Caroline yelled out as loud as her voice could carry, while she was choking back tears, even though she knew it was too late, but still, praying for something, anything. A miracle, against all odds.

"Please!" That time a sob managed to escape her throat and colour her voice.

Guilt now joined the swirling emotions coiling in her stomach like a snake.

_It wasn't supposed to be you._

Caroline should have died, Julian had reached for her, but Stefan, being the ever selfless hero, dragged Julian away from her and he had paid the ultimate price.

She should have tried harder, been quicker, but she had been too slow too slow, always too slow. That second, she spent being too hesitant, too scared, at snapping Tyler's neck had cost Stefan his life.

Something that couldn't ever be repaid.

She felt like a broken toy that couldn't be fixed again without the right batteries or screws. Stefan was her battery. He was the only thing that could fix her. But he wasn't here anymore so he couldn't. She had never felt grief like this before, shattering her like broken glass from the inside out.

Maybe it was the boiling rage that had burst through her grief, adding to her turmoil. She wanted to rip out Julian's heart, the way he had Stefan's, make him pay for taking away the best friend she so cherished away from her life just because he looked like somebody else. It burned through her, a fire exploding from her heart, but the grief overwhelmed the fiery rage bubbling within her, consuming her soul, crippling her.

It felt like it was destroying and eating away at her until there was nothing left.

She wished it would, so she wouldn't have to endure this bone-deep agony any longer.

She didn't care if that made her a bad person. All she cared about right now was him.

Fumbling for her phone with shaking fingers, Caroline half-carried, half-dragged Stefan's body inside the college lounge, lay him gently on the couch and, as quickly as her hands would let her, dialled Damon's number, all the while crying almost hysterically. She didn't know how she was going to tell him she hadn't managed to save his brother and now he was gone-dead.

Stefan was gone and he wasn't coming back. And that, Caroline suddenly realised, was something she didn't think she could live without. She had never become so close to flipping her switch as she did right now. For once, she really understood how Elena felt when Jeremy died.

She didn't know when or how it had happened, but life without Stefan had become life not worth living.

Not even a life at all.

It is always better to be the one who dies, rather than the one who lives on.

She couldn't agree more.

**Thank you for taking the time to read this and I hope you enjoyed it! I will update another chapter depending on what you think of it. Please review and tell me if I made any mistakes. :-)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Hello! Thank you for the reviews! They made my day :-). Here is the next chapter as promised.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or storyline. All the characters and most of this storyline belong to L.J Smith, Julie Plec and any other tvd writers. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**Enjoy! :-P**

She was still crying when they came into the room, hunched over his lifeless body. Damon froze, as if he had woken from a nightmare to find that it was real, grief unfurling across his face, tears sparkling in his eyes, threatening to spill over at any moment. Elena collapsed to the floor next to Caroline, shock and hurt momentarily flitting across her delicate features.

"Stefan!" Elena choked out, the single word echoing across the silent room. Caroline winced sharply at the sound of his name, feeling as though a knife had gone through her, the pain nearly causing her to completely break down hysterically.

_Stefan, Stefan, Stefan._

Other than that, Elena showed no other sign that she was as grief-stricken as Caroline.

And Caroline hated her for that.

How was she not utterly distraught by this one man's death? Elena and Stefan were once epic loves, destined to be together. They had both been through everything together, Klaus' sacrifice, Stefan becoming the ripper and abandoning his feelings again, up until Elena fell for Damon. Stefan had graciously accepted them together and left town, only to suffer for it when he was attacked by Silas, something he didn't deserve.

He really was a selfless hero, the noble one.

Maybe Elena had lost so many people that she had gotten used to it. Even so, Caroline's anger was slowly directing towards her.

If looks could kill, Elena would be charred ash by now.

"We have to... have to cover him up" muttered Damon brokenly, lifting a blanket from seemingly nowhere and draping it over his brother's corpse.

Caroline gasped out, throat thick with tears, "Bonnie has a plan right? She's gonna bring him back."

Damon and Elena glanced at each other nervously.

"Tell me she's gonna bring him back."

The way they looked away from her intense gaze, gave her the answer anyway. They didn't know.

Yep, total breakdown was correct, she thought as a fresh torrent of tears dribbled down Caroline's cheeks again as she bawled and screamed angrily, clutching desperatley clutching at Stefan's hand.

It was like watching him die all over again, only a million times over because the brief spark of hope Caroline had had when she thought of Bonnie's plan had dissipated, leaving her with nothing but the crippling guilt and grief all over again.

Through blurred eyes, Caroline could see Damon storming up the stairs to find Bonnie. Blindly, she stumbled after him, Elena on her heels, too yearning for confirmation as to the fate of Stefan Salvatore.

_Crash! Bang!_ There went another lamp as Damon hurled it at the wall in frustration.

"Damon, calm down, I'm sorry!" shrieked Bonnie, walking over to him.

"You _lost_ it!" shouted Damon, brandishing a poker from the fireplace. Caroline cringed at the sharp ringing sound it made.

"My _brother_ is over there" Damon whispered, his voice cracking.

Caroline didn't think she had ever seen him look so vulnerable. In fact, seeing him so eager to save Stefan filled her with a new resolve to bring him back.

Yes, Caroline would bring Stefan back to life, whatever the consequence or cost.

No matter what.

**Thank you for reading! Please review, and if you have any suggestions let me know :-). I should update another chapter in a few days.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you for reading! I hope you like this next chapter!**

**Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and most of this storyline, they belong to Julie Plec and L.J Smith.**

The plan had been to find Luke and Liv to do the spell. Bonnie had said that Enzo managed to find another traveller to teach the spell to them.

The relief that bloomed inside Caroline was even more over-powering than the grief had been. The spark of hope had flared back up full blast inside her heart again and was well on the way to starting a fire in her body if it got any brighter and hotter.

She and Elena set off to find the twins. Surprisingly, it wasn't that hard, since they could hear them bickering over Luke driving slower than their grandmother with their vampire hearing as they took the main road out of Mystic Falls.

The vampires sped up, zooming along through the streets until they caught up with the arguing pair. Elena jumped in front of their car, a solemn look on her face. The car screeched to a halt when Luke saw her.

"A little tip, when you're trying to escape a cursed town where vengeful vampires can't return, make sure you take back roads." Elena smirked a very Katherine smirk, her voice with undertones of fury.

Maybe she cared more than Caroline had realised.

"I bet if I look around..." Luke muttered, twisting in his seat to look behind him, and seeing Caroline standing behind the car, prepared to stop them moving anywhere.

"Yep, using our own tricks against us" He confirmed to his sister, as they both got out of the car.

"We need you to do a spell to stop the travellers" Elena said abruptly.

"We can't, our coven would kill us" stated Luke nervously, glancing at Caroline, who had a murderous gleam in her eyes.

"Look, I'm sorry for trying to kill you, but it was the only way to stop the spell." Liv added, trying to defuse the situation.

"Well, don't worry about that, Stefan's dead. We need you to bring him back to life" Elena snapped acidly.

"Sorry, we can't, once we brought him back to life, what's stopping the travellers from continuing the spell?" Liv said anxiously.

Something in Caroline snapped as Liv said those words. Her rage boiled over, and took over her actions. Her hope was faltering, something she couldn't allow.

Without it, she had nothing.

So she snapped Luke's neck without a second thought.

Rationality didn't exist in her without Stefan around.

"Now you have a brother to bring back from the Other Side. Better hurry" Caroline snapped at a shocked Liv.

Elena also looked stunned-as if she hadn't believed Caroline would do something that drastic for Stefan.

Caroline couldn't believe it either. It was something she doubted she would do for anyone else, except her mother.

She was starting to question how platonic her feelings were for him. Maybe ever since he had dropped dead in the car park. It had been different to the grief she had felt for Bonnie.

When Bonnie died, it had felt like something was missing, the sudden loss of her shocking and gaping. But deep down, she'd known Bonnie would still be watching on the Other Side.

With Stefan it was like a shattering window, breaking all of her in one go. His absence was huge, it tore a hole in her life, maybe because she had seen him die and not Bonnie. And because the Other Side was disintegrating, Stefan couldn't watch over her, which, to her, was even worse.

The moment she had killed Luke had been the moment she realised she was willing to do anything to save Stefan.

She had meant it, with all her heart.

It was more powerful than anything she had felt for Matt, Tyler, hell even Klaus.

And it scared her to her very core.

Her feelings definitely went stronger and deeper than she had ever realised.

**Thank you for reading again! Please review and tell me what you think I hope you liked it. :-)**


	4. Chapter 4

**I hope you enjoy this chapter! I may finish this story soon, or make up a little after season 5, I don't know yet.**

**Disclaimer: Julie Plec and L.J Smith own the characters and most of the storyline, not me.**

Damon was planning to blow up the town.

The moment Caroline heard that news, she went ballistic.

"We're not blowing up our town Damon" Elena argued, voicing Caroline's thoughts.

"The cemetery's outside of the no-magic perimeter, a couple of un-populated areas other than that." Damon stated. Caroline could hear him smoothing out paper, realising she and Elena couldn't see the map.

"Hey, Professor Salvatore, not everyone can see the map."

"Yeah, don't forget about us." Elena added.

"Donovan, you had one job." Damon sounded irritated.

"I'll send you a picture" murmured Matt.

"We should be there." Elena argued, a little crease appearing at the top of her brow as she frowned.

A little bleep coming from Caroline's phone indicated that Matt had sent her the picture. Elena quickly loaded the picture on Caroline's phone, angling it so they could both see what Damon was talking about.

"Nope. You should not be. You are on witch duty because without crazy locks, no one's rising from the dead." Damon said adamantly, leaving no room for argument.

Caroline looked over at Liv putting her brother's body in the truck. She looked distraught. Caroline felt as though she should feel something, guilt, regret, remorse. But she didn't. Stefan was coming back, so she couldn't feel anything but relief and hope.

"So, next order of business, mass murder. Quarterback?" Damon said eagerly. Caroline could hear him rubbing his hands together as he prepared.

There were some shuffling noises as Matt handed Damon something.

"Thank you. OK. We got these from the Sheriff. Apparently there was some truth to her evacuation story. There's a major gas line that runs underneath the town. Now if it did leak, it could be deadly, as in massive explosion kind of deadly." Damon started.

Caroline stared in astonishment. He was really pulling out the stops to bring Stefan back.

_This is the first time I actually like Damon._ Caroline thought, astounded. Who knew Stefan dying could do that to her? Then again, Stefan's death had been doing a lot of other stuff to her as well.

"We can't blow up our hometown." Matt groaned, sounding upset.

"Says one of the only people left in this group who can actually live there." Damon quipped.

"How? We can't lure anyone anywhere stuck out here." Caroline asked, feeling frustrated. She would not let Stefan slip away from her. No chance.

"And that's where your mama comes in. She will convince them to gather somewhere inside." Damon replied confidently.

"Meanwhile, these two geniuses at seven will turn on the gas, let it leak. We'll have about ten minutes before anyone can smell it. You clear out. Boom! Travellers gone, resurrection spell starts, loved ones return. Good? Good? Class dismissed."

Caroline was a little uneasy about her mother being involved with the plan as she headed over to the graveyard, but if Stefan was going to be okay, then that wasn't important now. Somehow, she knew he would be fine. The fluttering feeling that had taken root in her gut at the thought of his face at some unknown point told her so. Jeremy and Matt texted her and the others soon after she arrived, saying they had turned on the gas, now all they could do was hope.

She switched off her phone and turned around as a rustling sounded behind her. She only tensed further, seeing it was Bonnie a grim look on her face. Steadying herself against the flow of tears threatening to attack her, she approached Bonnie.

"Is there really _nothing_ we can do to save you?" Caroline asked, her voice hoarse from the effort of restraining her tears.

Bonnie smiled sadly. "Yeah."

Grief hit Caroline like a tidal wave. So different and similar to when Stefan died at the same time.

Bonnie grabbed her hands. "But," she said, voice wavering. "I have had an amazing life. I got to live when I shouldn't have. And these last few months have been wonderful, and going to college, building my life back up was great with you, Elena and Jeremy by my side. I've had the _best_ life." Bonnie smiled, tears trickling down her cheeks.

Caroline finally started crying, she hugged Bonnie fiercly, unable to believe this was happening.

"I'm s-so sorry." she stuttered. "It's not fair. I w-want you to-to stay. I've known a-and loved you my entire life, I don't k-know how I'll live it without you." Caroline managed to gabble out, still clutching Bonnie tightly.

"I'll always be here. Always be with you guys." Bonnie pulled away, swiping at her tears.

"Love you, Care."

"Love you too Bon. I'll remember."

Bonnie gave one last small smile, gave Caroline's hand one last comforting squeeze, and walked further up the graveyard, near Liv to wait for the spell. Caroline was heartbroken; this was the worst day of her life. She just kept losing people. Stefan, Tyler, now Bonnie. It wasn't fair.

The tears fell freely down her face as she waited longingly for her loved one to arrive.

And grimly for her childhood friend to die.

**Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it! I wanted to write a goodbye scene for Bonnie and Caroline, since they haven't always been close and because I felt that everyone was more upset about Damon and not about Bonnie in the show, so I decided to give her a different send off. Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I hope you enjoy this chapter! This may be the last one, not sure yet.**

**Disclaimer: The characters and most of this storyline belong to Julie Plec and L.J Smith.**

It was starting. Wind was howling, rippling through Caroline's clothes, teasing her hair into knots that whipped about her face. Liv was muttering the spell, the candles around her flickering in response.

The resonating boom echoing through her ears from the explosion was also proof of that. She hadn't seen it, but judging from what she just heard, it must have worked. Bonnie was crouching over in pain, groaning. The travellers must be passing through. Caroline instinctively wanted to help her, but something in the corner of her mind was telling her not to interfere.

_Please, please, please let it have worked. Let us all be okay._ Caroline prayed silently. She had never wished harder for anything in her life.

_Stefan, Stefan, Stefan._ The mantra screaming his name was back, bouncing around her skull. She conjured up an image of him, and hoped he made it through.

The ferocious wind became even more ferocious, if possible. Trees branches swayed violently, old gravestones wobbled slightly, and Caroline felt as though she was about to be ripped off her feet.

Somehow through it, she heard Bonnie speaking. Her hopes soared. Was it Stefan?

"Elena! Did it work? Are you-?" Nope, Elena. Caroline was shocked. Had she blown up the town with Damon, killing herself?

Bonnie sighed, her shoulders relaxing in relief.

"Yeah?"

"Okay. When you guys pass through me, you're going to wake up with your bodies on the other side. I need you to get back here as fast as you can." Bonnie said, reaching out to presumably Elena and Damon. She tensed in agony again. They must have it through.

Suddenly, Bonnie looked up. It looked to Caroline as though she was listening to someone. Then Luke, the witch she had killed materialised, coalescing into existence, and sprinted for the mausoleum where his sister was performing the spell.

Bonnie turned to another person Caroline couldn't see.

"You need to come through." Bonnie insisted to the invisible person. To her immense shock, Enzo appeared. Walking around Bonnie, he looked up and saw Caroline. A huge smirk spread across his face.

"Ahh! See you around, gorgeous." he grinned, walking past her. Caroline stuck her tongue out at him, unable to think of anything more mature to do or say.

Suddenly, Tyler came into view.

"Tyler?" she asked hesitantly, Stefan's grey, dead body flashing across her mind once more.

"Yeah! It's me." Tyler smiled.

Caroline relaxed a little. They ran at each other, hugging tightly. Reunited as good friends, nothing more.

"Woah..." Tyler muttered, releasing Caroline.

"What's wrong?" she asked, worried. Was Julian still there?

"That felt different..."

"What do you mean?" she asked, both relieved and confused. This wasn't traveller issues.

Tyler picked up a sharp rock from the ground and sliced his hand with it. The wound didn't heal.

"You're not healing..." Caroline was stunned; could she receive any more surprises today?

"I'm not a hybrid anymore." Tyler said, blinking in surprise.

They were both interrupted by Bonnie arguing with someone. Turning around, Caroline saw Bonnie reach out to someone.

Suddenly, Stefan appeared, releasing Bonnie's arm. Caroline was about to run to him when she noticed his outfit. She was pretty sure Stefan hadn't been wearing a black leather jacket or brown boots when he died.

She was also sure that Bonnie was throwing him a look of extreme distaste and hate, something she wouldn't be doing, since Stefan hadn't done anything to her. It was when he walked over to a nearby tree, a few feet away from Caroline, a sinister smirk on his face that she knew he would never wear, that she finally realised with a growing dread deep inside her gut who it was.

Silas was back.

**Thank you for reading this! I hope you liked the change I added at the end, I just really wanted this character to come back to life in the episode :-). Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi, I will be taking a break from this story until season six comes out. I will write another chapter around October. Thank you for reading!**

**Disclaimer: The characters and most of the storyline belongs to Julie Plec and L.J Smith.**

Caroline was pretty sure her mouth was gaping open in shock. Why had Bonnie let _him_ through?

"Okay, I'm gonna ask what everyone must be thinking. What are you doing here?" asked Tyler pointing at Silas. He must have realised aswell.

Silas just smirked at him.

"Well, I was the traveller who taught the witch the spell that brought you all back to life."

Caroline had been wrong; there were a lot more surprises in store for her today.

"No, I think he means, why are you waiting here? Why don't you go, none of us matter to you." Caroline snapped. She was still upset over him not being Stefan.

Silas' smirk dropped from his face as he turned his attention to her. She swallowed anxiously. She should really learn to keep her mouth shut in front of 'Big Bads'.

"I'm waiting for someone, just like you," he replied guardedly, fixating his gaze on Bonnie, and the others still remaining on the Other Side. Caroline took that to mean their conversation was over. She also turned to Bonnie, resuming her patient wait for Stefan.

Suddenly, Alaric passed through. Caroline smiled. She had missed him, and was glad he got a chance to live again. He walked toward her and Tyler, smiling. He must be waiting for Damon.

Bonnie had started talking again. "Sorry, Elena, but," she reached out and suddenly Elena was there, a few feet away from her, looking horrified.

"Elena! Thank God!" Caroline cried, feeling relieved. One of her friends was back.

But Elena seemed hysterical. "No! Bonnie! Why would you do that?! I can't leave without him!"

"We'll find him!" Bonnie assured her.

"Wait? What's going on? Who are we missing? Where's Stefan?!" she yelled over the wind at Elena. Elena blinked at her blankly, as though she had temporarily forgotten who Stefan was.

"H-he's waiting for Damon." she stuttered, on the brink of tears. Caroline grew angry at Stefan. He was so selfless, it would destroy him. She wouldn't let it. Her train of thought was broken by Bonnie coughing violently, hunched over in pain.

Caroline was getting annoyed and impatient. Why was Stefan taking so long? She would make Bonnie grab him if necessary.

"Bonnie, are you okay?" Elena approached her, looking anxious.

Bonnie coughed harder, and blood started splattering her hands and she struggled to take in air. She was dying.

"Oh my God. Bonnie?" Caroline gasped out.

Bonnie stumbled sideways, looking dizzy. She knocked into someone, and suddenly Stefan appeared, looking shocked. He was holding Bonnie up. Relief overpowered her, buzzing through her veins. She yearned to touch him.

"Lexi said she would wait for him, I'm sorry." he said, guilt flitting over his features. Elena just nodded. Bonnie gave a small, knowing smirk, as though she knew something no-one else did. She had probably been eavesdropping on a conversation that was meant to be private. Caroline didn't care. Nothing mattered, not anymore, now that he was here. She ran human speed, half-sobbing at him, not quite knowing what was possessing her to do so. Stefan smiled and raised his arms.

"Care-" he begun, but she interrupted him by kissing him squarely on the mouth, grabbing his face in her hands and driving as much heat and passion into the kiss as possible. She felt delirious; the kiss was amazing, her best yet. It sealed her love for him infinetly. Faintly she heard someone wolf-whistling. Probably Silas or Enzo, but she really didn't care. Stefan was back.

Her world was perfect again.

She pulled away, breathless, still holding his face. Nervously, she looked up and met his gaze, not sure what to expect.

His eyes were sparkling, his mouth curved into a small, happy smile that she only saw on rare occasion.

She was ecstatic that she happened to be one of those occasions.

She beamed back again, beyond delighted that her feelings seemed to be reciprocated.

Someone broke them apart by clearing their throat. Remembering they weren't alone, Caroline stepped away, removing her hands from his face. Shyly, she turned around to see the others reactions. Bonnie was full-blown smiling. She clearly saw this coming. Maybe that was what her secrective little smirk had been all about. Tyler seemed shocked, but his eyes betrayed his happiness for her, fueling her relief; she was glad they had reached a place where they could both move on from each other. Elena looked stunned. Her eyebrows were raised slightly and her doe eyes had widened in what was _disappointment?_ Hurt? Caroline had probably broken a lot of girlfriend codes just then, but she didn't feel guilty. At all. Maybe it was the high of kissing Stefan. She might have to avoid Elena for awhile though, judging from her facial expressions. Enzo and Silas were just smirking. Silas was even waggling his eyebrows mischeviously at them. The wind had picked up noticeably. Fierce was an understatement. Trees were practically being yanked out of their roots and the masoleum seemed on the verge of collapsing. Caroline was suddenly distracted by Bonnie rolling her eyes in annoyance at someone on the Other Side before extending her arm to them. All of a sudden _Katherine_ stood there, a smug grin on her face, her curls whipping back in the wind.

Caroline definetly hadn't seen this coming. She stood there, well aware she probably looked ridiculous gawking in shock at her. Silas straightened, a soft smile spreading across his face, one Caroline had seen before on Stefan, just a few minutes before. This was clearly who he had been waiting for. Katherine smiled back and ran at him. They embraced tightly, before Silas kissed her lightly, tucking her hair behind her ears. Caroline didn't think she had ever seen Katherine look so happy. It was like she had stepped into a parallel universe. Katherine _never_ looked happy. The pair turned and stared at the others warily. Caroline and the others were just staring in shock. She felt as though she was about to faint.

"Private moment here?" Katherine said, still clutching Silas, looking annoyed.

"Right, right," everyone turned away and distracted themselves in the wait for Damon.

"That just looks weird." Stefan muttered into her ear. Caroline giggled, enjoying the chills that were racing down her spine as he spoke.

They watched as Bonnie threw out her arm at someone, Damon most likely.

"Damon hurry!" she yelled. The wind ceased and then stilled abruptly. Liv's candles blew out at the same time and she woke up out of her spell-induced trance. Caroline hadn't realised until then that she had blood dripping from her nose in steady streams, her face toremted and twisted in agony. Shock and betrayal was written all over her face as she glared at her brother. He had stopped the spell. Damon and Lexi hadn't come through yet. They were gone for good. As much as she had hated Damon for what he had done to her and almost everyone they knew, he was Stefan's brother, and she felt a strange emptiness at the thought of his death.

Disbelief filled Stefan's face as he realised what had happened. His eyes filled with tears that refused to fall and he walked away, releasing Caroline's hand. She suddenly felt cold on the side of her body where he had been.

She had gotten him back only to lose him all over again. Somehow this time seemed a lot more definitive.

She slowly walked after him, ignoring Elena's cry of horror and anguish. She found him sitting on a picnic bench, staring into space.

"I lost them both..." he sighed, slumping his shoulders.

"Two people I've known longest in this world. Both gone." his voice trembled.

"Lexi?" she asked, even though she knew the answer.

"She never came out. Neither did Markos. I know that's not a conicidence. It was, uh, her, unfinished buisness. And Damon, uh, he finally had everything he wanted." Stefan's voice had lowered to a mumble. He sounded like he was trying not to cry.

"He was happy. He should be here." Stefan broke down into tears. His head dropped into his lap as he cried. Caroline felt a sharp twist of sympathy for him and put her arms around his shoulders, comforting him.

She knew she would be doing a lot of that from now on.

He deserved it.

**Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! :-)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I don't own the vampire diaries, they belong to Julie Plec and L.J Smith, not me.**

She couldn't do it.

She was falling apart. She couldn't go home, she couldn't see Bonnie, she didn't have a clue where Stefan was. She tried and tried, every spell book, every grimoire, every witch she came across, to undo the magical barrier surrounding Mystic Falls, because deep down, she was falling apart. Four months had skipped by like a breeze.

"I dropped out of Whitmore. Why would I support their stupid football team?" Caroline snapped as she walked over to her mother. Just outside the magical barrier that would kill all supernaturals if they stepped inside.

The closest she would ever get to home.

"It's the opening game of the season, Caroline. Time to come home!" Elena said cheerily into her phone. _Too_ cheerily.

"I am home! I just signed the lease to my new apartment." Caroline argued.

"On the border of a town that doesn't want you. That's not home... That's sad." Elena said.

"You don't even like football." Caroline retorted, feeling stung.

"No, but I like drinking in the parking lot beforehand." Elena replied, a hint of an invitation in her voice. Caroline opened her mouth to decline politely, but Tyler interrupted.

"Caroline, you're coming." Tyler said adamently into the phone.

"Tyler, don't act like you have any ground to stand on. You skipped an entire year..." Caroline trailed off, smiling despite herself. Tyler had come a long way, after having to struggle with the adjustments of being a human again, not to mention the werewolf gene that could trigger any time he lost his temper.

"And you hounded me for an entire year! So here I am. Now get your ass back here." he shot back.

"Caroline, I'm picking you up at 6 pm sharp tomorrow. Okay? Bring your school spirit. Bye!" Elena hung up before Caroline could even reply. She stared at the phone for a moment, wondering how Elena could possibly have gotten over losing Bonnie and Damon so quickly, before sitting down on her mum's picnic blanket, and settling a large green magic book onto her lap.

"Anyway... as I was saying, I haven't exactly found a spell that can undo an anti-magic border per se, but this book mentions travelers. Which isn't all that helpful, but at least it puts us a step in the right direction." Caroline said, looking at her mother hopefully.

"Sweetheart..." Liz trailed off, a worried frown on her brow.

"Yeah?"

"You should go with them tomorrow."

"No, we're going to go see a movie!" Caroline beamed, trying to lighten the mood.

"We have spent the entire summer together." Liz smiled at her.

"Ahhh. You're sick of me..." Caroline pursed her lips together, feeling a pang of loneliness hit her heart.

"Caroline, you just lost one of your best friends. It makes sense that you want to hold on to what's familiar, but Elena lost her too. She clearly misses you." Liz said patiently.

"No... Elena has clearly taken up residency on planet denial; where football is more important than her boyfriend being swept away into oblivion. Do you know she has barely cried for him? I mean, she was a full-on wreck over Bonnie for months, but when you mention Damon, it's like nothing ever happened." Caroline exclaimed, letting some of her frustration over the situation leak out into her voice. She just missed Bonnie, and even sometimes Damon, so much.

"Caroline, Elena has experienced more grief than anyone I've ever met. You should cut her some slack." Liz began, before her phone started buzzing.

"What? Did someone trample over Ms. Davis' flowerbed again?" Caroline pulled a face mockingly.

"Two kids were admitted to the hospital with suspicious wounds on their necks..." Liz said, frowning at her phone.

"Vampire attacks? How? Vampires can't get into Mystic Falls." Caroline asked, leaning forward. The drama never seemed to stop.

"No, but they can lurk around the borders. I gotta cut lunch short... that's it. I gotta take care of this." Liz stood up, heading towards her car, crossing the Mystic Falls barrier. She turned back round to face Caroline.

"Listen, consider Elena's offer, okay? Mystic Falls isn't going anywhere." Liz smiled at her. Caroline nodded, and then realised her mum had left the picnic basket behind.

"Hey, don't forget your basket." Caroline reached over the anti-magic limit to hand her the basket, and her skin burnt, a sizzling, shocking pain she had forgotten about, that made her jerk back and drop the basket.

Yep, she definetly wasn't wanted in Mystic Falls any longer.

**~X~**

She missed Bonnie, she honestly did. But she knew where she was, kind of, and that was dead. And in a way it helped her move on. But she missed Stefan that tiny bit more because he had been in her grasp, something she'd yearned for for so long, and was now so far away. He didn't call, text, email, just upped and left in the middle of the night the day after Bonnie and Damon died, no warning, nothing.

He didn't even said goodbye.

She at least expected him to tell her, the person he was semi-going out with at the time, the person who missed him more and more each day, where he had gone, but he didn't.

He didn't tell anyone.

He called Alaric a few times, from what she knew, but he never picked up the phone for her. She thought she had meant more to him than that. Which was why she was meeting Alaric in a café just outside Whitmore, and was dumping three books on anti-magic and travelers on the table, settling down opposite him.

"You already read all that?" Ric asked, evidently surprised.

"Cover to cover, with no mention on how to undo an anti-magic force-field. And if I'm going to single-handedly take back our town, I'm gonna need a little bit more to go on." Caroline replied, with a hint of pride.

"Got it. All right, well," he drew out a book. "I brought 'Ancient Witchcraft, volume two.'"

"I read it." she said shortly.

"How about 'The Art of Hexing' and 'Elements of Magic'?" he pulled out another two leather bound books. She took one, and twiddled with the cover nervously, before looking up at Ric, ready to ask the question she'd been wanting to ask for four months, but had never worked up the courage to so.

"Fine. Thank you. So... how's Stefan?"

"He's okay." Ric smiled sadly at her in obvious pity. Caroline smiled back, but it felt awkward, forced.

"How often do you talk to him?"

"I don't know. Couple times a week." Ric shrugged.

"Oh, huh." Caroline laughed nervously, knowing she sounded pathetic.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb here, Caroline. Is something bothering you?" Ric leaned forward, concern set deep in his eyes.

"He didn't say goodbye. Damon and Bonnie died and he just left. No phone calls, no e-mails, just disappeared into thin air. And I haven't heard from him in months. I actually convinced myself he was in some remote mountain region and couldn't accept my calls." Caroline huddled in on herself, feeling miserable.

"Or maybe he just doesn't want to bother you with every half-lead that goes nowhere." Ric suggested softly.

"Or maybe I just need to get over it. Thanks for the books." Caroline stood up and abruptly walked away, before she started crying. She really needed to get over it, she told herself again as she got in her car and drove down the road. She'd thrown herself into magic books, frantically searching for a way to bring Bonnie back, because she couldn't take all the losses anymore. It hurt so much, if she gave herself hope that Bonnie was coming back, then it dulled the pain, the hole she felt in her chest that was the best friend she'd grown up with. She scanned the books Alaric had given her as she neared her new apartment, trying to distract herself from any lingering thoughts of Stefan.

But it didn't work, no matter how hard she tried. He was always with her.

**~X~**

After a long night, tossing and turning non-stop, and hitting voicemail with Stefan again, about a hundred more times, Caroline decided that she needed her mother. She needed to confess all, her confusing feelings about Stefan and everything. Cleanse her soul and move on with her life.

When she turned the corner that afternoon, nearing the anti-magic barrier, she saw a horrific sight. In front of a large brown car stood Elena, gripping a shrieking girl who must have been the owner of the car, fangs buried deep into her neck.

Talk about unexpected.

She braked hard, then jumped out of the car, zooming over to them, mouth gaping open in shock.

"Oh, my god! What are you-" Caroline started indignantly, but Elena released her shocked victim with a start and cut her off.

"Caroline. It's not-" Elena broke off at the sound of the girl running away towards the Mystic Falls border, holding her bleeding neck.

"No!" Elena shrieked. She sped after her, but the girl had already passed the border and all Elena succeeded in was burning her arm.

"What did you do? Why the hell are you feeding on people?" Caroline yelled at her, incredulous.

"It's fine. I've compelled everyone else." Elena walked away from the border, trying to reassure her, but Caroline was going into panic mode.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hang on, so you're the border-lurker?" Caroline couldn't believe it. Everyone around her was falling apart, and the worst bit of it was that she hadn't even known Elena was struggling so much.

"The _what?_"

"Yeah, did you know my mom's been out looking for a vampire prowler?" Caroline snapped, gesturing emphatically.

"The herbs... Luke's been giving me. They make me so thirsty," she turned away from Caroline. "I am not thinking straight."

"Whoa, what herbs?" Caroline asked, confused. Where was this all coming from?

"They make me see Damon," she swiveled back round to face Caroline, half-smiling in happiness. "I can talk to him, and, and I can be with him, and-"

"God, is this what you've been doing this whole time? Hallucinating your dead boyfriend?" Caroline felt a bubble of pity in her chest. When had it gotten this bad? How hadn't she known Elena was hurting so much she had resorted to drugs?

"I tried to grieve him, Caroline. Trust me, I know grief. I've got grieving down to a science at this point, and I tried. But every time I let it sink in that I'm never gonna see him again, I feel like I'm gonna die." Elena whispered, tears pricking her eyes.

"Oh God, I get it okay? I do. But, there are better ways to get through this."

"Like what? Like dropping out of school and having picnics with my mom, near the town border? Or maybe I could pull a Stefan and bounce from country to country, chasing some false hope that we're gonna find a way to bring Damon and Bonnie back. We're all getting through it. This is me, getting through it, okay?" Elena smiled brightly, and way too falsely. Caroline wasn't fooled for a second.

"Yeah but you're not getting through it, Elena. You're just pressing pause," Caroline sighed. "Look, I'll call my mom and she can fix all this. But you need to get out of here, go hide, okay? So just... go." she motioned to Elena's car, then pulled out her phone. Elena nodded, looking dazed and shaky, before getting into her car, her movements robotic and empty.

**~X~**

"Where are you? The game's gonna start in like 15 minutes." Tyler demanded as soon as he picked up the phone. Caroline didn't waste her breath.

"Do you know Elena has some witchy drug problem? Yeah, Luke Parker has been feeding her some concoction that allows her hallucinate Damon."

"Wow, Slow down, what?" Tyler was shocked.

"It gets her all bloodlusty and confused. She nearly killed a girl today!" Caroline exclaimed.

"This makes no sense." Tyler still sounded distant, stunned.

"Yeah, well, neither did the fact that she got over Damon so quickly when he died. Now it's crystal clear. She hasn't. She's living in a fantasy land."

"Is she okay?" Tyler asked, now sounding worried.

"She's a mess. And as long as Luke keeps playing witch doctor, she's not going to get any better." Caroline sighed tiredly.

"Let me deal with him." Tyler said, sounding murderously angry, then hung up. Caroline suddenly worried that she'd told the wrong person. Tyler was barely able to keep his emotions in check, now he was back to being pre-werewolf. What if he got out of control and killed Luke? He didn't deserve that, and Tyler didn't deserve to suffer through his painful transformations all over again. She quickly fiddled through her phone and sent Alaric a warning text, hoping he got it in time and was at the game, then pocketed her phone.

She hoped she wasn't too late.

**~X~**

Matt called. The girl had run into town, bleeding like crazy everywhere, and unleashing panic and he was bringing her up past the barrier to meet Caroline so she could compel her. She didn't have to wait long, hiding in the shadows of the trees as light fell from the sky. A large SUV pulled up, screeching past the border and stopping abruptly. The girl got out and tried to run, but Matt easily caught her arm and spun her round to get a better grip on her arms.

"Sarah, stop, please. Get back in the car. Stop, Sarah! I'm not gonna hurt you." he half-yelled as he restrained her.

"You kidnapped me." The girl-Sarah-replied angrily.

"Look, I know you're scared, and I'm sorry that this happened to you, but all I can do is promise that it won't happen again." Matt said earnestly, face open and pleading.

"Why the hell should I trust you?" Sarah snapped, but she had stopped struggling to get away from him.

"Because I've been attacked like that more times than I can count. I've had my throat ripped open. I've had my neck snapped, my hand smashed. I've drowned. I've died and come back to life. And I've lost what little family I had, and I refuse to lose anyone else. I want to protect people like you. Like us." Matt released Sarah, taking in a deep breath as he finished his speech, worry lines etched onto his forehead.

"That's... quite a story, but... thing is, I don't trust anyone. Ever." Sarah turned around in order to run, but Caroline flashed in front of her, barring her escape.

"That's probably wise." Caroline smiled. "Now, forget that girl attacked you, when you got out of your car, a rabid dog came out of nowhere, knocked you to the ground, and mauled your neck. It was scared off by another car and you ran into Mystic Falls for help."

Sarah relaxed, then repeated Caroline's words, looking dazed. Matt took her back into Mystic Falls with a grateful smile and a wave goodbye. And that was the end of it.

Or so she hoped.

**~X~**

_"It's Stefan. Leave a message."_

"Hey, it's me. Just leaving another message about how today was not a good day. Everyone drifted apart." she told him, just like she did everyday, told him what was happening in the life he wasn't in anymore. She was getting used to his voicemail now. It was the only sign of life she got from him, proof he hadn't completely abandoned them by getting a new phone.

"It's like everyone's pretending they can get through this alone. Elena's gone and I think she's so scared to accept what happened that she's become a completely different person." she laughed into the phone.

"And if you ask me, Tyler's just hiding at Whitmore, pretending everything's fine as if he can outrun his werewolf gene or something. And Matt and Jeremy never leave Mystic Falls anymore. There's an invisible wall standing between us and them and nobody's doing anything about it. Part of me wonders if they hope we never find a way back in." she mused, half to herself.

"And then there's me, just sitting in a diner on the border of town looking for a way to get our home back. We just lost two of our closest friends. We need each other. We need to be together, Stefan, or pretty soon we're just gonna end up pictures in a yearbook in a drawer somewhere, and so, that is why I am not going to stop calling you until you pick up the phone and I hear your voice and you tell me that you are going to help me fix it. Because I am _not_ going to give up on us." she finished determinedly into the phone. She paused for a second, then hung up.

As she stared at her phone, Caroline didn't think she'd ever felt so alone.

**Thanks for reading and sorry for the late update! :-)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: Julie Plec and L.J Smith own tvd and it's characters, I'm just using them in my story. No copyright infringement is intended.**

Caroline glared at Alaric, fully unable to comprehend the phone call she had just received.

"You said that Stefan was looking for a way to bring Damon and Bonnie back." She said accusingly.

"I thought he was. I've been feeding him leads for months. He let me believe he was following them." Ric shrugged.

"Well, I've been a little focused on magic bubble duty. And as you can see by the lack of magic in Mystic Falls, it's a spectacular fail of a mission. And now you're telling me that this whole time no one has been doing anything to help Bonnie and Damon?" She demanded, incredulous. Had everyone just given up?

"I wouldn't exactly say no one." Alaric hedged, giving her a spark of hope.

**~X~**

_Uuurrgh, _Caroline grumbled to herself as she stormed into room 307. Of all the people she had to find; really? She couldn't imagine anything worse, especially as she stared in horror at the sickly pink patterned bedsheets and flowery walls.

No-one seemed to be in, so she walked straight into the bathroom without knocking and immediately wished she hadn't. Katherine, shirtless, seated comfortably in Silas' lap, pressed up against the wall, locked in one hell of a kiss, both obviously intent on having a shower. It made her gag to look at them, especially Silas, with his uncanny resemblance to Stefan. Both of them were too absorbed in themselves to hear her come in, so she made herself known.

"Ahem."

Katherine jerked back from her boyfriend, eyes wide in shock when she saw Caroline. Silas tilted his head back to look at her and laughed.

"Ha ha, well, well well. There's a blast from the past. Hello blondie."

**~X~**

"You're the last person I think would object to me erasing positive memories of Damon from my head." Elena said softly.

"Yeah, but we are _literally_ chasing a lead. W-what if we find something out? Yeah, you know what if Damon returns home and everything returns back to normal? And you're just sitting there all confused and weird?" Caroline exclaimed, confused, and completely freaked out. Everything was _not _going to plan, and she was one of those people who couldn't _stand _the unplanned.

"Then Alaric will bring back my memories." Elena said simply, as though she was buying some milk.

"But-"

"But what? Go ahead, Caroline say what you need to say. I don't want to...pressure you into agreeing." Elena sighed softly. The sadness and separation between those two was so obvious to Caroline in that moment, because Elena had given up as well.

"I-don't know what to say, I was actually trying to think of what Bonnie would say."

"And?"

"And... she'd say that you should do what's best for you." Caroline admitted.

"Look, I think it's great that you still have hope, I really do but-for my own survival I need to let him go." Elena said. She even sounded reasonable, and Caroline never thought she would object to having _Damon _erased from Elena's life.

"Well, then go on with your what-would-Bonnie-Bennett-do plan. I'll make bumper stickers." Caroline laughed, a rare moment of happiness.

"I love you." Elena giggled.

"I love you too." Caroline said, before hanging up and tossing her phone into her bag.

"Girl bonding, very sweet. We heard you dropped out of school." Silas smirked snarkily, turning to face her.

"And I heard you two were lurkers who were spying on my life. When do we exit?" Caroline asked, focusing on her window.

"Soon, uh. You should reconsider. Looks can only get a girl so far these days." Silas nodded.

"Yeah, well I'm not taking feminist tips from a guy who just used his tongue to get his girlfriend out of her shirt." Caroline shot back.

"Garment detendant." Katherine replied succinctly, as Silas sent her a fond look that made Caroline oddly reminiscent of four months ago.

"You just made that up. So, did you also make up the 'Gemini Coven' lead too? Because I've never heard of them. Who are they?" Caroline demanded.

"No idea, we're meeting up with Enzo if you just turn right, he has the details, but we're making a slight detour first." Silas said casually.

"What?! Wu-Wait, where are we going?" Caroline asked, panicked as she veered right down the road. She supposed she had missed Enzo, he had been...okay in the end.

"You'll see." Was all Silas would say.

And a few hours later, she honestly did.

**~X~**

They were at Stefan's house! The car was in the garage, she knew it anywhere, so for some reason Enzo, Katherine and Silas cared about her life, or just wanted to stir things up. Probably the latter. But that didn't matter. How long had she dreamed of this moment, when she would see him again? In her joyfully deluded mind, she saw him smiling, happy to see her, and he would come up with a perfectly good reason why he hadn't called her...

Her illusion shattered when she saw a girl walking up the path. She wasn't an idiot, the girl could only be there for one reason. The girl wasn't ugly either, a petite frame, dark hair, and delicate features that creased together when she saw them.

"Stefan?" She asked, looking at Silas. He smiled sheepishly.

"Uh, no, twin brother. Just stopping by for a visit. This is Enzo, Caroline and Katherine." He gestured to them. Caroline felt a hot burst of anger erupt in her chest. He'd completely started over! He hadn't even mentioned them, not at all. Was she really that worthless to him?

"Ivy," The girl nodded. "I'll go see if he's in." She walked up to the door, knocked, waited for a second, then opened the door and stepped inside.

"Hey." Stefan said to her. Caroline's heart soared despite herself. He was right there, just out of reach.

"Hey." Ivy replied.

"Perfect timing, I was just uh-"

"I ran into some of your friends." Ivy interrupted. Enzo and Silas started walking up to the door. Caroline sighed in frustration before following them with Katherine.

"What? Where?" Stefan asked, confused.

"Stefan!" Silas exclaimed, throwing his arms out dramatically to the sides and beaming. Caroline almost found it funny, especially from the look of pure horror on Stefan's face. "Haven't heard from you in aaaages!"

"You are a hard man to track down." Enzo added. "Uh, I wasn't sure if you're new...friend would invite us in but she said that this was your place. Which means...open invitation to all your mates, right?" He scrubbed his hands together excitedly.

"Ooh, got any bourbon, Stef?" Katherine asked, bustling past him to the kitchen. Caroline glared at Stefan angrily, and he had the decency to look guilty.

Good. He deserved that too.

**~X~**

They all somehow managed to squish around the table, Katherine and Silas having announced they were very hungry in front of Stefan's girlfriend-urggh, Caroline hated those two words-and now Stefan, Enzo and Silas were all having some sort of stare-down competition.

"Good stuff, mate." Enzo chewed. Stefan nodded silently.

"So, how do you guys know Stefan?" Ivy asked conversationally, trying to smooth things out. She was obviously putting the pieces together.

"He and I went to high school together. He used to date my best friend, Katherine's sister." Caroline added the white lie at the end, just to spitefully throw Stefan off track, but the table had gone silent, and Caroline suddenly realised what she just said.

"Not that he's not allowed to date, I mean they broke up. I just didn't realize that he had met someone. So how did you meet exactly?" She rectified, trying to stop the embarrassing tell-tale flush spreading across her cheeks.

"Uh, Ivy's car was in the shop, where I work." Stefan said, popping a piece of carrot into his mouth.

"You work at an Auto-Repair shop?" Caroline was well-aware that her mouth was dropping open in shock.

Stefan smacked his lips. "It's relaxing."

Ivy looked confysed. So he'd lied to her as well. No surprise there. "Why? What did you use to do?"

"Ah, man of all seasons, jack of all trades." Silas said, waving his fork around. He was going to poke Stefan's eye out if he kept doing that, but Caroline knew it was deliberate.

"You have a lovely clavicle." He suddenly said.

"Oh, Thank you. I think." Ivy said, glancing at Stefan, looking a little weirded out.

"Forgive him, he-always notice a woman's neck. We're neck people! So is Stefan, right Stefan?" Enzo smirked innocently.

"Not anymore." Stefan said through gritted teeth.

"Ah, well that's silly. You can't just stop being a neck person. Not without a _cure_." Silas said, glaring pointedly at Stefan.

"Are you and Katherine dating Silas and Enzo?" Ivy whispered.

"Ugh, oh god no, Silas is Katherine's, but she's insane. Would you date that?" Caroline giggled. Ivy seemed alright; which wasn't fair! If she'd been horrible, Caroline could gave compelled her away without a guilty conscience.

"Uh, hello. I'm right here, I have super-sensitive hearing. Practically supernatural." Katherine said, shooting Caroline the evils. "Do you believe in the supernatural, Ivy?" She turned her attention to the stunned girl.

What were they all _doing? _They were clearly pushing their boundaries, trying to press Stefan as far as he could go.

"I've...never really thought about it." Ivy said, glancing nervously at Stefan, who was avoiding everyone's eyes.

"I myself, am a believer. Had to do a locator's spell to find my brother here. I'm a witch." Silas said, not sounding totally sarcastic.

Everyone looked at each other and began to laugh, but Caroline couldn't help but feel it was forced.

"So, Stefan, tell us, this house, very charming. When'd you get it?" Katherine asked.

Stefan walked over to the kitchen table, pouring wine into his glass. "About a month or so ago."

"No, more than that, remember? We met two months ago and you already had it." Ivy said, frowning at him.

"You've-lived here for more than _two_ months?" Caroline spluttered in shock. It was like she had been doused in ice-cold water; hard, cold, reality.

"Yeah, I guess I have." Stefan smiled casually.

Caroline was incredulous. When had this happened? He had sacrificed his life, searching for his brother, for something so... _ordinary_. Selfish. "Well, I guess that's just weird because, you know; everyone thought you were living somewhere else." She spat out as Stefan sat down.

"And you're job was supposed to be _investigative_ work not Auto-Repair." Caroline continued, jabbing her fork into her plate.

"Right. Well, I've moved on from that job." Stefan smiled at her, but it was blank and empty.

"Well, you can't move on from _investigative_ work until you've solved the _investigation_, Stefan."

"How 'bout we just drop it? I'm happy doing what I'm doing now, and that's all that should really matter, right?" Stefan said pointedly, looking at her.

Caroline leant forward to argue, fury rising in her stomach, but Silas stopped her.

"There, darling. No need to make a scene. Really it's all just some big misunderstanding, perhaps this will clear it all up." And he grabbed his fork and stabbed Stefan's hand to the table, causing an earsplitting shriek from Ivy, and Caroline to spit out her sip of wine she had just taken. Enzo was bent over laughing in hysterics.

"OH MY GOD!" Ivy yelled, horrified at the fork sticking up from Stefan's hand at a disgusting angle.

"Silas!" Katherine said, shooting the witch a warning look that he returned with one of complete innocence.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Stefan winced in pain.

"So many secrets, what are you running from, Stefan?" Silas asked, removing the fork from his doppelgänger's hand.

"Um, I-I don't-" Ivy had gone pale, trembling. Caroline got up, grabbed Iv's chin and looked her in the eyes, compelling her.

"Calm down, come with me. Let's go upstairs." She glared at Silas angrily. Why was she always left to clear up the mess? "No need to make a scene?!"

"What kind of coward gives up on his own brother?" Enzo sneered.

"You don't know what you're talking about." Stefan replied tersely, and that was all Caroline heard as she ushered Ivy up the stairs and compelled her to forget about the incident and stay upstairs until they left. Her phone started ringing, and she impatiently answered it as she came back downstairs.

"Hey, this is really not a good time." Caroline said as a loud crash ensued down the hallway.

"I'm sorry, I-I've just really hit a wall with Elena. I just need some insight."

"Okay, what's the wall?" Caroline pursed her lips.

"I'm trying to get her to figure out when she first fell in love with Damon but she-can't seem to get there." Alaric said hesitantly.

"Yeah, because she doesn't want to admit what everyone already knows," Caroline said. _And what_ _should never have happened. _She added silently.

"That she fell in love with Damon while she was still with Stefan." The stairs creaked behind her, and she turned around to see Stefan, blood on his neck. Caroline felt a horrible twinge of guilt in her gut as he looked at his feet, then started walking back down the hallway into the kitchen and he started picking up a broken chair. It was then that Caroline realised the room was completely trashed; the dining room table was smashed into pieces, and one of the kitchen windows was shattered. Silas was next to the broken table, unconscious, whilst Katherine was tending to him, and Enzo was slumped by the counter, temporarily dead.

"You should probably get them out of here. They'll be up soon and I really don't feel like another go-around." Stefan said, standing up.

Caroline surrendered from the awkward silence hovering around her. "I'm sorry that you heard what I said."

"It's fine, Caroline. I really don't care." Stefan shrugged, but Caroline just couldn't believe him.

"Why? Why don't you care? You're the one who always cared, it's what I liked about you. You know amidst all the crazy in our perfectly-messed-up lives, you cared more than anyone. So how could you just...stop?" Her throat was clogging up and she felt trapped; trapped by people who had given up.

"'Cause I had to. I had to 'move on'. You know, the months before I moved here I was following every lead that Alaric sent my way. I spoke to every witch, every shaman, every psychic in 20 countries around the globe, and every lead was a dead end." Stefan stated firmly.

"But Enzo has another lead, there's this coven in Oregon-" she argued, but he interrupted her.

"The Gemini Coven, yeah I looked into them too, Caroline there was nothing there. Because there's nothing we can do, Damon and Bonnie are _dead_. I had to come to terms with that. And once I did, I had to start over, I couldn't just live my life with my old friends, I couldn't just go near Mystic Falls or Elena or-"

"Or me?" Caroline interrupted, staring at him sadly. Stefan looked away guiltily. "'Cause I thought we were closer than that, I mean-you could hear in all those messages that I left you, you couldn't hear that I was completely falling apart without you?" Caroline cried out, looking at him expectantly, hoping for some sort of sign that he hadn't given up, but he still wasn't meeting her eyes. Realisation shot through her, leaving behind a vile disgust. "'Cause you never listened to them."

"I had to move on I didn't have a choice." God, she was _appalled_ at his attitude, and, so so, sad, that he had given up so easily, whilst she just couldn't let it go. "I had to erase everything." He said.

Anger fueled her emotions, and actions. She _hated _him, for giving up without a reason. "Well, let me summarize them for you. You're a dick. If you want him out of your house, you'll throw him out yourself." She marched towards the door, when she suddenly stopped, and turned back to face him, because she wanted to _hurt _him, the way he'd hurt her.

"You know, you pretend you're not like Silas, but in reality, you're much worse. At least he never gave up hope." She snapped at him, before continuing to walk away, head high. She managed to get into her car before her angry wall melted and her emotions burst free and she _cried, _literally bawled her eyes out until she could feel her mascara smeared down her face. Her phone started ringing, and she cleared her throat, composing herself before she answered.

"Hey." She said into the phone.

"Put on some party clothes and come to Whitmore. Tyler's coming over and we are going out." Elena said cheerily into the phone. There was nothing dull about her voice; she sounded happy. The compulsion must have worked.

"You sound good." Caroline laughed.

"I am good, I had a good day. I ditched all my classes and hung out with Ric, and we um...we talked about Bonnie." Elena's voice took on a soft turn. Caroline was still silently crying, tears streaming down her face, so Elena couldn't hear her.

"I had a good cry, and I don't know I-I really feel like things are taking a turn for the better. So get your ass down here and let's have some fun." Elena laughed.

"Well, how about I come in, sneak in the dorms and spend the night later, for old times' sake." Caroline smiled.

"Sounds perfect, love you."

"Love you too." Caroline said quickly, then hung up and started crying all over again, but then Enzo got in next to her, making her jump, as Silas and Katherine got in the back. She turned away so they couldn't see her cry.

"Oh, well that was a bit of a bust." Enzo shrugged. Caroline sniffled as she tried to try her tears, and the others heard her and turned to her.

"What's wrong?" Katherine asked, actually sounding concerned.

"Hey, hey," Enzo grabbed her face and turned her to him, when he saw her crying he looked _really _angry, and he let her go, then abruptly got out of the car.

"We'll be right back." Silas sighed, also getting out. Caroline watched them go, half fearful, half grateful. She hadn't even known they'd cared.

Oh, well, at least someone was looking out for her. And with her heart set to break any second, she needed it.

**Thanks for reading! Sorry I haven't updated, I've been busy with other stories and homework. Please review what you think xx**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for reading, and I got the end of this chapter storyline idea from **_**BSwifty1997**_**, so many thanks!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own tvd, it belongs to Julie Plec and L.J Smith, I am using their storylines and characters for my own story.**

_"Caroline, it's Stefan. I'm really sorry about last night. Please call me back so I can apologise in person."_

_"It's me again. Please, please, call me. You're my best friend Care, I need you to forgive me."_

_"Caroline, I really want to make it up to you. Please call me, I miss you."  
><em>  
>Caroline turned her phone off and tossed it onto her bed impatiently. As she did, she caught the sight of a picture on her nightstand. She picked it up and just stared. Stared at the graduation photo of Bonnie, Elena and her all wearing red graduation clothes. They all looked so happy. Everything had been so easy, they'd all been together for the first time in ages, Stefan hadn't been attacked by Silas, and Damon and Bonnie were still alive.<p>

She sighed, heading over to the bed and putting the picture down, then throwing her pyjamas and yesterday's clothes into her suitcase, not really bothered right then about their state. Elena walked into the room with a tray of two coffees, beaming at Caroline.

"So I uh, volunteered at the hospital until like two. And then I figured we could carpool to the party at the swimming hole." Elena set the coffee down, her smile dropping when she saw Caroline's bag. "Um, normally when you move back in you unpack."

"I'm not staying. Last night was just a momentary...moment of weakness." Caroline waved her arms about.

"Momentary moment?" Elena asked, looking at her with an odd expression. Caroline nodded. She wasn't going to be swayed that easily.

"Are you sure you don't want to come back to school?" Elena asked pleadingly. Caroline silently stared at her directly.

"Caroline, needing your friends isn't a weakness, momentary or otherwise." Elena added.

Caroline shut her suitcase. "Tell that to Stefan, who clearly needs no one." She said bitingly. The events of last night were still fresh on her mind and she couldn't stop thinking about it. Silas and Enzo had refused to tell her what they had done, which made everything so much worse. They'd done something terrible in her name.

Elena crossed her arms. "Cut him some slack, he lost his brother." She said, snapping Caroline out of her thoughts. "Granted, said brother was a homicidal maniac. But, still."

Caroline just stared. This was the first time she had heard Elena reference Damon since the memory wipe, and it was just so sad. She'd completely let go of everything that made Damon important in their memories, however little that was, and it was horrible. And Caroline never thought she'd think of Elena ditching Damon as horrible. Her emotions must have shown on her face because Elena looked at her weirdly.

"What?"

Caroline shook her head, clearing her mind of the Damon memory...thing. "Nothing, I just-I gotta go, I got breakfast with Enzo and Silas, then I'm meeting up with Katherine to take her to the swimming hole, so..."

"_Those_ three?" Elena asked, judgement written all over her face.

"Mmm hmm." Caroline nodded.

"You guys go on one road trip and all of a sudden you're breakfast buddies?" Elena still sounded skeptical.

Caroline giggled. She should have known this would be Elena's reaction. "Yeah, I guess so. Ironically, they've recently become some of the most stable people in my life."

"Okay, then invite Silas and Enzo to the party as well." Elena suggested with a knowing smirk Caroline knew all too well. Then she frowned. "Maybe not Silas actually."

"Elena-" Caroline protested, but her friend cut her off.

"Come on, I got Matt to take the afternoon of from his training and Tyler to give the practice squad a break, even Jeremy is coming. It's been forever since we've all been together, it'll be fun." Elena smiled invitingly.

Caroline opened her mouth, still skeptical.

Elena, pointed her finger at her. "Don't make me invoke the nuclear option."

Caroline raised her eyebrows.

"'Cause I will selfie bomb you. Every five minutes." Elena smiled.

"Okay, fine I'll go to the party." Caroline sighed, giving in. She might as well, since it would be a waste if she just dropped off Katherine and left.

"Yay." Elena grinned excitedly.

"But I'm not moving back in." Caroline said adamantly, heading towards the door, coffee in hand.

"That is a conversation to be had over jello shots." Elena called after her, but Caroline just waved her hand at her in acknowledgement.

**~X~**

"What did Alaric do to her?" Caroline demanded.

"All I know is she doesn't remember what she saw in Damon and we're supposed to keep it that way." Matt replied.

Caroline started walking through a park towards the breakfast bar, sipping her coffee."I just spent the whole night with her, and it's weird. She just doesn't seem like her old self."

"Yeah, it's because she's happy isn't that the whole point?" He pointed out.

She signed. "Yeah, I guess."

"Look, I gotta go. I'll see you later." Matt said.

"'Bye." Caroline replied softly as she walked into the bar. She hung up, then approached Silas and Enzo's table, sitting opposite them as they both smiled innocently at her. It really was no wonder they got along; they were both really annoying and murderous, but somehow likeable.

"Took your time." Silas remarked, cutting up his chocolate pancake. Yep, it was a wonder why she'd started hanging out with him. A year ago, he'd been scaring the life out of her and now...

Now she felt as though she could call him a friend. But strangely enough, she'd lost Stefan. So maybe Silas was his replacement as her best friend, which Caroline instantly banished from her mind. That would _not_ be happening so soon.

"Yeah, we were starting to wonder if we'd done something to offend you gorgeous." Enzo smirked.

"Well sorry, I've had Elena pushing me to go to the party all morning." Caroline said, finishing the last dregs of her coffee and then chucking the container into a bin a few metres away. "By the way, you two are now invited. Do you understand the rules?" She'd briefed them on ways to behave in society early this morning.

"Yeah, rule one, don't mention Elena was madly in love with Damon or you'll kill us." Enzo said, pointing his fork at her.

"Mmm hmm." Caroline nodded.

"Rule two, don't really reference Damon at all or you'll kill us." Enzo ticked them off his fingers.

"Yup."

Silas cut in. "Rule three, wear sunscreen and-" Caroline interrupted. "Don't make fun of me." Silas sniggered, and Enzo smiled at her. It's important that we let Elena live her new, happy, problem ignoring, zombie life the way she wants."

"A sentence that sounded oddly supportive and judgemental." Enzo remarked.

"I support her. She did what she needed to do to stop chomping on innocent people on the road. It doesn't mean that I'm enjoying marinating all alone in my misery." Caroline said moodily, picking a strawberry off of Enzo's plate and popping it in her mouth despite his warning frown at her.

"Well, I'll marinate with you." Silas smiled jokingly.

"I appreciate it. Really, I do." She smiled back gratefully.

"But I'm not Stefan," He said, giving her a pointed look. "For one thing, I don't have my doppelgängers clueless brain." Another pointed look. Caroline frowned; what was that all about?

"Rule number four, Don't ever mention that jerk's name again or-"

"Or you'll kill us. Got it." Silas smirked. Enzo stood up to leave, but Caroline noticed an alarming red spot on his shirt.

"Whoa..is that blood or pie? Please say pie." Caroline said, pointing at him.

"Hmmm..." He dabbed his finger in it and tasted it. "That would be...Shirley! A special off the menu item. This little diner is surprisingly well stocked." He exclaimed, cheekily looking at a passing waitress. Caroline stood up in front of him.

"Tell me that you snatched, ate, erased."

"Funny thing about do the first two properly, the third isn't necessary."

"You killed her?" Caroline hissed. She couldn't believe it, this was rapidly becoming a breakfast disaster.

"Why are you so bothered? It's not a surprise." Silas shrugged.

"Oh, don't act all shocked." Enzo sneered.

"Well, I'm sorry, but death shocks me, and it also leads to a missing persons report, which leads to-"

"Sheriff's investigation? I'm terrified. I already have three warnings. One more is a fine." He shrugged, miming a bite in her face that she couldn't help but flinch at, then left her behind, feeling angry and disappointed.

**~X~**

"Care? Care!" It took awhile for Caroline to register that Elena was the one calling her. Katherine rolled her eyes, as she settled onto her towel, well-aware of the eyes on her skimpy bikini. Apparently, Katherine flirted with other men, regardless of whether she had a boyfriend or not.

"I'll see you later." Caroline said as Elena grabbed her arm and took her into the woods.

"Elena, what's up?"

"Stefan's here, and he wants to see you!" Elena said as she steered her into a clearing that was vaguely familiar to Caroline. She sighed to herself dubiously as Elena called Stefan's phone and it went to voicemail.

"Hey. It's Stefan. Leave a message."

"Yeah, not answering is one of his new things." Caroline said spitefully. She wasn't at all surprised. He just was never going to stop hurting her.

Elena frowned. "He said he was here to apologise." She had clearly never been lied to or ignored by Stefan.

"Lying. Also one of his new things. Stefan has a lot of new things." Caroline smiled fakely as Matt and Tyler came up to them.

"Hey, have you guys seen Stefan?" Elena asked.

"I didn't even know he was back." Matt shrugged.

"So you want to fill us in on what we're doing here?" Tyler asked, looking aro I and.

"You don't remember this place? We used to sneak off here and get wasted while our parents were outside grilling. Granted, we all have a few less parents, but we can still have fun." Elena offered the boys Jello shots.

"Actually, I can't. I'm working on my rage issues, and this wouldn't help." Tyler replied.

"My buddy's wasted, and I've got to train in the morning, so..."

"Okay. Well, I don't want to sound like an alcoholic, but I do want a shot, so will someone do one with me?"

Caroline raised her hand "Done!" Elena happily handed a shot to Caroline and they both swallowed them back.

"Bottoms up." Elena smiled.

"Mmm! Well... Here we are, having fun. I'm having fun. Aren't we having fun? This is really fun." Caroline smiled sarcastically.

Elena's smile faltered, realising Caroline was being sarcastic. "Okay. Clearly, this was a big mistake. I just wanted to spend one afternoon where we pretend for just one second like we're not all drifting apart." She sat beside Caroline.

"Well, that's the problem, Elena. Not all of us are ok with pretending. Some of us prefer to face our problems head-on." Caroline glared pointedly at her. She'd had enough. They all had pain, why should Elena have to be the one to live without it? There was a moment of awkward silence.

"I think we should go." Tyler frowned.

"Yeah." Matt added, as they both turned around and left.

"What's going on?" Elena asked, confused.

"I'm just lonely, okay? And Bonnie's gone, Stefan's gone. Silas and Enzo... shocker! Terrible, murderous friends." Caroline exclaimed, scraping the ground with the toe of her shoe.

"I'm still here, Care." Elena said softly.

_No you're not. I'm not sure where you are anymore, Elena._

"Yeah. You're still here." She stood up and left, feeling like she had no true friends left.

**~X~**

"Enzo! We need more ice!" Caroline yelled, stumbling slightly as she marched towards him. Enzo raised an eyebrow at her, smirking at her appearance. She'd had a few too many drinks.

"All right, only for you, gorgeous." Enzo winked, and she grinned, momentarily taking in the clear-cut abs underneath his shirt, before he left. Whilst she waited, she wondered around, dipping her feet in the water. After an impatient ten minutes, she marched back up to the drinks table, opened the ice box, but it was still empty.

"I thought I told Enzo to go get more ice." She muttered to herself.

"Did you do it in that tone? Because I think I know why he didn't." A girl next to her said.

Caroline turned to face her. "Congratulations. Now it's your job." She compelled her "Go get ice."

Jeremy came up behind her as the girl left."Aren't we supposed to be having fun?"

Caroline smiled and turned to face him. "Is that why you brought your latest fling in a series of sad attempts to pretend like you don't care about Bonnie...To have fun?"

Jeremy backed away looking disturbed as a drenched Katherine suddenly rushed up to Caroline, clutching her phone in a white-knuckled grip.

"We've got a problem." She said anxiously.

**~X~**

"You've got to be bloody kidding me. We just saved your life!" Enzo exclaimed. 

"So you can give me a lifetime full of misery. Well, that's fine. I'm just gonna shorten the lifetime." Stefan smiled.

Caroline zoomed up in front of Stefan. He was holding a rifle, and aiming it at Silas and Enzo, and a body was behind him, a knife sticking out of his chest.

"Stefan." She said sternly. She wasn't about to let Enzo and Silas die. 

"Good news, Caroline. I thwarted a vampire hunter. Bad news... Stefan has become a vampire hunter." Enzo quipped.

Caroline ignored him. "What are you doing?" She asked Stefan.

Stefan lowered the rifle when he realised Caroline wasn't moving. "Why don't you ask them?" He left, and the butterflies in Caroline's stomach swooped as she turned to face Silas and Enzo, who both looked rather guilty.

"What did you do?" She demanded.

**~X~**

They _killed_ Ivy. Or rather, Silas came up with the idea, and Enzo actually performed the dastardly deed. In the end, she wasn't surprised, just sad. As she walked forwards, searching for Stefan, searching to, ironically, _apologise, _when she saw him in front of her behind a tree. She called his name, but he just kept on walking.

"Stefan!"

Caroline zoomed in front of him. "Stop, okay? I am sorry. I did not know about Ivy, but-"

"But what? What? I was fooling myself, I was using her as an escape? Yeah, I know what you think, Caroline." Stefan snapped coldly.

"Well, actually, I was gonna say, 'but killing Enzo won't bring her back.'" Caroline said, stung by his response.

"No, but it will stop him from reminding me of my brother. I kill him, I can leave this place, and I can start over again."

"So that's why you left all those messages on my phone, promising apologies?" Caroline asked dubiously.  
>"That's why you visited Elena, that's why you came to this party, just to kill Enzo and start over?"<p>

Stefan hesitated, just for a second, but she saw it. "Yep."

"I don't believe you." She stated firmly. "I know that a part of you misses this place and these people, your friends. I know that being back here reminds you how much we need you, how much... I need you, but if I'm wrong, then go ahead. Just go. Start over, but, God, if I'm right, if just a little part of you came back to check on Elena, who's had an unbearable 4 months, or Alaric, who just came back from the dead, or me." She implored to him, from the deepest depths of her soul. "If even just a small, little part of you came back to check on me... Then stay."

Stefan hesitated for a moment, and in that moment, she honestly filled herself up with hope, believing that he would actually stay. That part of him missed her as much as she missed him, that he remembered that...spectacular kiss the night Damon, Lexi and Bonnie died.

But he blinked at her, and suddenly left, marching away into the forest. For a second, she was shocked. He'd chosen something impossible over her, just like everybody else. And it felt like he had just ripped out her heart and taken it with him. This was true heartbreak. She'd felt a brief flicker of this breaking up with Tyler, but not this deep, or intense. Why was she always second place?

Why? Why? _Why_? Her brain was shrieking at her as the shock evaporated and she dissolved into tears. Reduced to crying over him _again_. She was beginning to wonder if he was really worth it. If he'd _ever_ been worth it, from the beginning. She sucked in huge heaving breaths, trying to compose herself, running her hands through her hair, when she caught a slight movement a few feet away from her. Elena was there, shifting guiltily, and Caroline realised she'd heard everything. Her practically exposing her heart to Stefan, her entire speech. Every single word.

She wanted to be angry, she wanted to laugh it off, but all she could do was start crying all over again. Elena approached her, pity evident in her features, and hugged her as Caroline grabbed her tightly and sobbed heartedly into her shoulder.

When would her pain ever end? Did it ever end?

If it didn't, she wasn't sure she could deal with it anymore.

And that thought was what made her cry the hardest. 

**~X~**

Things couldn't possibly get any worse right? Wrong.

Caroline thought she'd managed to compose herself, but it seemed everything she'd ever done today was coming back around on her.

And it all escalated from the look on Jeremy's face. "Have you guys seen Sarah?" He asked worriedly as he approached them.

"No, why?" Elena asked.

"There's no ice." Jeremy stated, eyes wide.

Elena laughed. "I think you'll live, Jer."

"Caroline compelled that girl to go get ice. She didn't." Jeremy explained.

Caroline's throat closed up in panic. "Well, why not? Is she on vervain?"

"No. She had to go into Mystic Falls to get it. She had to cross the border."

"Compulsion is magic." Caroline whispered in realisation.

"Which means that every memory you compelled away came back, so Sarah, the girl you attacked and you compelled..." Jeremy said, trailing off.

Elena's eyes widened in shock. "Knows what I am."

Great. Just what she needed.

**~X~**

"So, I was just gonna leave my clothes here while we look, if that's okay." Caroline said, hurrying into the room.

"Yeah, of course." Elena followed her, sounding distant. She seemed shocked by the outcome of today's events.

"I also was thinking that-you know-if there are vampire hunters on the loose then living alone right by their home base is probably not a good idea." Caroline added, giving Elena a pointed look.

Elena frowned. "Is this an official unpack? Because your moving method is so confusing." She joked.

Caroline beamed. She'd come to realise after today that she needed to b with her friends as much as possible. "Yes, this is an official unpack! I'm sorry I got mad at you earlier." She unpacked her clothes and headed over to the drawers, placing them neatly in little piles. In the corner, was a red gown that looked oddly familiar, and she pulled it out. "Sometimes it just seems like you have your secret way to move on. Is this...?" She fingered the red graduation gown, a soft smile on her face despite herself.

"Bonnie's?" Elena asked, sitting down on her bed. "Yeah. There we go. You just discovered my secret of moving on: Sometimes I don't." She smiled sadly, looking as though she was far away. Caroline couldn't help but wish she was there with her. She hugged Bonnie's gown to her chest, burying her face into it.

"I miss Bonnie." She whispered to Elena. "I miss Mystic Falls, I miss my old life. And I miss..." She stopped suddenly, a chill racing down her spine as she realised she'd said too much.

Elena looked up. "Stefan?"

Caroline cringed. "Yeah, I miss Stefan." She admitted, mentally kicking herself for blurting it out.

Elena opened her mouth, as though trying to carefully word something. After several seconds, she finally got it out. "Caroline, you and Stefan..." She started tentatively. Caroline stiffened, her emotions were going into overdrive, and a blush creeped up her cheeks; she knew what Elena was going to say, and she didn't want to hear it. She didn't want to admit it.

_Don't say it! Don't say it!_

"The night Bonnie died...did you have feelings for him or something?" She asked her.

Caroline couldn't believe this was happening. She was cornered into admitting defeat. So she sighed softly, "Yeah, I think maybe I did." A half-truth. Because she didn't just have feelings for him, she had been _in love _with him. And she still was.

Elena looked at her in obvious pity, and Caroline right then jyst wanted to curl up into a ball and die from the humiliation. She stuffed Bonnie's gown back into the drawer so she would have to avoid Elena's eyes and quickly changed the subject. "Well, we should go ahead and find that girl before she outs us." She laughed, slamming the drawer closed and walking out. She felt suffocated, forced into admitting the most personal thing she'd ever felt in her life, and she couldn't stand it much longer, especially with the threat of being discovered hanging over her head.

But little did she know that a girl outing them would no longer be the biggest of their worries.

Instead, it would be her.

**~X~**

Caroline should have known that Sarah wouldn't hand around, but it was the only hope she had left. She went to find Elena, but stopped abruptly when she heard Stefan's voice. Stefan's heartbreakingly, sexy, wonderful voice that she had been robbed of for months, and had so desperately wanted to hear again. But she didn't dare approach him because she could hear them talking. Why was he talking to Elena and not her? It wasn't fair. They were talking about _leaving_, about them just driving off to Savannah for a clean break for a little while, leaving everyone else behind, learning how to move on. How could they even _consider_ that? She sprinted to the road, hell-bent on stopping them by any means, because there was _no_ way that they were abandoning everyone here.

Abandoning _her_.

But when she finally managed to stumble out onto the road they were on, she only caught the tail end of Stefan's motorcycle as they veered off into the distance. Anger clenched her heart in an iron fist, and sadness and pain began polluting it from the inside out.

They'd just _left_. She'd _confided_ in Elena about her feelings for Stefan, had _begged_ Stefan to stay, and they just _left_. Without even thinking about her in the process. Just hopped on his motorcycle and drove off into the sunset together.

Why had she bothered? Why did she care?

Why was she never the one that was picked? This had just caused all her old insecurities to come processing back. Elena had chosen Damon over Stefan, had trampled all over his heart in the whole 'I don't know how I feel' process, led him on when he lost his memories, and even though she, Caroline, had stood unwaveringly by him through all that time, he still picked Elena. Again. How was that fair? That question pounded through her head, as she stumbled back to her dorm, diminished, destroyed, tears dribbling down her cheeks, as she bolted the door, fell to the floor, and sobbed her heart out. She wanted to claw her emotions away, claw at Elena's face until there was nothing pretty about it, and maybe, Stefan would actually look at her again. Or maybe, she'd just rip out his heart the way he'd ripped out hers, again and again.

God, it _hurt_, it hurt so much, the pain exploding through her heart at a thousand miles per hour, like a burning fire roasting her. She didn't care anymore, she decided, she couldn't. She needed to block the pain, no matter the cost, sell her soul to the devil, rip out her own heart, anything. And since those options were practically impossible, that left only one solution.

The switch.

The wall she felt hovering, just above her reach, deep inside her mind, where her emotions were stored, ready to be slammed down, and shutting off the one thing she had left of her humanity. It was so easy, _too_ easy, in fact.

But she felt that she had no other choice. She'd had enough of the pain she'd suffered.

She closed her eyes tightly, letting the tears flood silently down her face, calming herself. She breathed in deeply, and she saw it clearly, that glass wall. All she had to do was shove it down, metaphorically speaking of course, and her pain, it would be gone.

She thought about Elena and Bonnie, Matt, Tyler, Jeremy, her lifelong friends. The ridiculous things they'd suffered the moment the vampires came to town. When Elena fell for Stefan, the crushing disappointment when he picked her, Damon, ruining her life, and Elena loving him despite all that, how much that had felt like a slap to the face, her dad dying, Bonnie dying. Twice. The grief, the agony of knowing she'd never see them again was like being stabbed. Her feelings for Tyler, Matt, and yes, Klaus. That time in the forest hadn't been that hard to forget. Stefan, in general, really. The way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled, the promise he'd made to her to protect her when she became a vampire, the warmth she felt all over when he lost his memories and had only trusted her, his dead body lying on the ground, as he'd kept his promise to her, how much that had hurt, more than anything, thinking he was gone without her telling him how she felt.

And lastly, she thought about how much she loved her mother.

Before that wall came slamming down, shoving her emotions back, as they were sealed away, the last of her humanity dripping away until there was nothing left. A loud snap echoed in her mind as she did so, and it was like her thoughts cleared, sharpened. She could think, finally so clearly, without any emotional baggage.

She stood up, wiping her tears away with one hand, and smiled in satisfaction. She should have done this a long time ago. It felt like a cool, vacant space was inside her, leaving her so much for room for guilt-ridden thoughts without the guilty part. It felt _amazing_, _she_ felt amazing. Without a thought twice, she instantly knew she could kill a million people in cold blood, scatter their hearts all over the globe, and laugh in complete madness as she stood over them, caked in their blood. She knew right now, that she could trash Elena's bed, Elena's belongings, and not feel a thing about it. So she did.

Grabbing her hairdryer, she used all her strength to slam it into a photo she once thought was sweet, now sickening, of Elena, her and Stefan together on Elena's desk. It completely shattered, the glass flew everywhere, the picture crinkled and ripped, the photo frame fell apart, wooden chunks flying everywhere, but Caroline wasn't even started.

She stripped Elena's and hers bedsheets, ripping them into shreds and then kicking violently at the all the beds until they were nothings but wooden shards. Then she grabbed Elena's clothes from her hangers, throwing them into the fireplace. She fumbled for a matchstick, and struck it against the side of the fireplace, holding it over the clothes. She watched the flame flickering and burning on the stick, captivated for a moment by how such a little thing could contain so much destruction. Then she smiled to herself again. This was going to be fun.

Before she let the match slip through her fingers and tumble into the clothes, instantly lighting up like a bonfire, burning at the edges, smouldering and blackening to the core from the inside out.

Much like, she mused, her.

**Thanks for reading! Reviews are very much appreciated! :-) xx**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I don't own tvd, it belongs to Julie Plec and L.J Smith, I am using their characters for my own story. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**This chapter is kind of continuing from 6x04, I'm adding to it, so the maze isn't happening...yet.**

**Thank you so much for reading and for all your reviews, favourites and follows!**

The problem with being light for so long is that you eventually crave the dark side. And right now, Caroline was _embracing_ darkness. Drinking greedily from her victim, gulping down every drop, messily ravaging the woman's neck in an empty, emotionless frenzy and savouring her copper freedom.

God, she was having the time of her life, being able to rip into a vein, and drain it until there was nothing but an empty shell, and all she found she could do was want more. She felt refreshingly blank, a fresh start amidst the terror of humans, everything felt amazing, Elena had been right, she could revel in anything. Dirty thoughts of Klaus? Done. Nothing. Whatever minor spark she had once bore for him was now long gone, replaced by a sinister hunger, drowning out the 'light' he had seen in her. She'd yank out his heart in an instant if she had to, it wouldn't kill him, and she could think freely of their time together with a hint of bodily pleasure, and normally she would have felt terrible about it. Now he was meaningless, a non-existent blip in her otherwise pretty much perfect record that was about to get seriously messed up.

And then her ringing phone broke her out of her concentration. She snarled impatiently-they'd really taken almost two days to realise she was missing? Of course, she wasn't Elena Gilbert, but she'd almost been hoping for some comeback, for someone to take notice of her. She reluctantly released the barely conscious girl, deciding to compel her to forget and go to the near-by hospital with the memory of an animal attack, rather than killing her and then burying her; too much trouble right now, unlike the last two. Maybe next time, when her so-called friends weren't bugging her. Huh, it really wasn't such a big deal, like Enzo had said.

But it was essential that no-one found out that she'd flipped her switch. They'd kidnap her, torture her, try to get her to feel something again. And she really didn't fancy taking a trip down memory lane. But, she supposed that the good thing about Elena's breakdown was that she had learned from it. She knew how to avoid what Elena went through. Caroline had slyly adapted, without anyone realising.

She answered her phone, pressing it to her ear. "Hey, Elena." She forced meaning into her words. How had she done this before?

"Hey, where have you been? I got back, someone's trashed our room, and I was worried because I couldn't find you-"

"I'm fine." Caroline interrupted coldly. What else could she say? "I just wasn't in the mood for talking after you spontaneously ditched me for lover boy without a word." There. That sounded like something she'd say after being royally annoyed. She vaguely remembered that feeling, her tears, the pain, and reminded herself to bide her time. Elena would suffer soon enough.

"Is this what this is about?" Elena asked softly. "Me disappearing?"

Caroline snorted, before quickly making it sound like a sob. "Don't flatter yourself. It's just that," she made her voice tremble slightly. Only a vampire could have heard it. "I thought we were closer than you running off with the guy I have feelings for." Imperative that _have _was the key word. Make Elena feel guilty, and suck everything she had built since her memory loss out of her life.

"Come on, you know it wasn't like that." Elena said. "He's grieving his brother and Bonnie, and I wanted to make sure he did it the right way."

"Really?" Caroline smirked. "Your ex, who you left for his brother, completely trampling his heart without a second thought in the process, just let you check up on him when he wouldn't even speak to the one person that's always been there for him through everything for four months?" She asked dubiously, throwing in a catty tone, specially devised to spill secrets and to make cutting points that she hadn't used in, oh, _years._

There was a pause, as Elena breathed in sharply, shocked. She wasn't answering, and Caroline knew she was right. Stefan had let her back in, _that _way. That was why she'd been away so long. That was why she'd driven off with Stefan. Despite Caroline's feelings, Elena had put her own, old and smothered ones first. She expected to feel some sort of jealousy, but instead she felt a cold rage that emptily controlled her actions and helped her remember how she should have felt.

"But, anyway, that doesn't matter, right? Because what Elena wants, Elena gets, and I'm sick of being second place in the wanted pile." Caroline smiled coldly.

"Look, Care, I'm sorry, just come back, I just-"

"And I. Don't. Care." Caroline interrupted emotionlessly. "Goodbye, Elena." And she hung up before the other girl could respond, slipping the phone back into her bag and getting back into her car. The iPhone was way too expensive to ditch, and she was way too inexperienced to try. She was uncontrollable, but she wasn't stupid.

She veered down the road, intent on finding a hotel to clean up, act unsuspecting, lay low for a while. Her own mum was the sheriff, she would know about the two murders by now, particularly because they were barely two miles away from Mystic Falls. And emotionless or not, she wasn't killing her own mother, that part of her remained intact, her love for her mother, though buried, Caroline was still very much aware of it.

She hurried into _Lawson's _emptyhotel reception, quickly grabbing the receptionists attention and compelling her to ignore her state and give her a free room. If push came to shove, she'd just kill her anyway. Taking the key, she hurried up to her room, unpacking some clothes she'd taken from her dorm, and stripping, before getting into the hot shower. Just what she needed after the last few days. So she could think of where to go next, how to make Elena suffer rationally. She'd still never gotten back Elena for the way she'd treated her when her emotions were off, now her payment was due.

She scrubbed the blood off her face, soaping herself up quickly, before rinsing, drying and was just about to pull on her top when her phone rang again. Impatiently, Caroline reached for it and was about to turn it off when she saw who was calling.

Enzo.

Okay, not Elena. And to be honest, Enzo hadn't done anything personal to her, so why not? Besides, her guilt gone, she could think freely of him, of anyone as she liked. So she picked up, putting on a cheery tone. As much as she doubted Enzo would care about her non-emotional state, if he found out why she'd done it, he'd go after Stefan, most likely accidently blab about it, and everyone would know.

"Hey, Enzo."

"Barbie, you've been dodging me. Where are you?" He said as way of greeting. Caroline rolled her eyes.

"Some hotel named Lawson's, or something. Why? Am I that important to you?" She smirked flirtatiously. No harm now, since she didn't care about what damage was done.

"Funny, gorgeous, listen, there's some frat party going on for Hallaween at Whitmore college tonight. Fancy coming along? Silas and Katherine are going as witches, very British sense of humour." He said smoothly. A party. Interesting. Despite herself, Caroline felt a jolt of excitement. Parties meant food. Parties meant fun. If Elena was there, then maybe this was her chance to give her hell.

"Sure, why not?" She faked reluctance, barely containing her hunger.

"Okay, see you at six by the maze, gorgeous." Enzo said, sounding pleased, before hanging up.

Caroline sighed, and threw her phone onto the bed before continuing dressing. He'd left her an hour to get changed. An hour. She smiled, approaching the mirror. Good thing she'd done Drama in high school, since she'd need her acting skills if this was going to work.

She smiled in cold warmth at the mirror. "Hey, I'm Caroline Forbes. Nice to meet you." Throwing in sincerity, using her looks to her advantage, she had her former personality nailed.

She smirked, letting the warmth drop away, revealing the true, relishing monster underneath, before re-packing her things, then heading back out to her car, starting the long twenty mile journey back to Whitmore.

It was only then that she realised Enzo had actually asked her out on a date. She used to recognise the signs, but now she couldn't. She wasn't sure she wanted to. For a minute second, her switch flickered, just a little, to let a sliver of shame that she was using Enzo for her own amusement and pleasure seeped through, and for a brief moment, she was sorely tempted to turn around, go to the border and call her mother, so all the good memories could come flooding back.

But that wall clicked firmly back in place and she was a blank piece of paper again, calm and collected, with just a hint of an intense desire for revenge and a ravaging thirst, tinging the mix. Just the way she liked it. That way no-one would suspect her.

Elena and Stefan would never see her coming.

**Thanks for reading! Please review! I'm sorry this was so short, it was essential to get to the next chapter. xx**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I don't own tvd, it belongs to Julie Plec and L.J Smith, I am using their characters for my own story. No copyright infringement is intended.**

**I apologise for the shortness of this chapter, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. :-)**

Caroline walked up to the hotel room and knocked impatiently. Using the few seconds she had before someone answered the door, she fixated a bright, innocent, very Caroline-like smile onto her face, covering the monster within.

Enzo opened the door, eyes quickly scanning over her body. He was in a cape, and had some fake blood around his mouth, making him look much paler and more sinister. Then he smiled, and held the door further open in invitation.

"Hello, Gorgeous."

"Hey, Enzo." She said in a bubbly voice, stepping inside the small room. The bed right in front of her was littered with clothes, mostly female, in a variety of colours from black to bright green to red, and make-up cases. She saw Katherine in front of Silas, who was sitting down on the edge of the bed with an annoyed expression, applying make-up to his face with an alarming amount of zest. Both seemed to have settled with an all black theme, with boots and ponchos, and Katherine wore a black dress with grey see-through tights, whilst Silas sported black jeans and a button-up shirt.

"You don't need to go overboard. I think the clothes are enough." He grumbled, though Caroline noted he made no move to stop her.

"Silas, it's Halloween. We're witches. Might as well make use of it as an excuse to wear make-up. Besides, I've never celebrated Halloween before, it'll be fun." Katherine insisted, adding a final touch, before packing her make-up away and pecking him on the lips. She herself had dark eye-shadow and silver eyeliner with pale skin-toned blusher, which made her cheekbones look more defined and her nose look sharper, like a stereotypical witch.

"Ah, Caroline! Tell Silas to stop being so miserable about Halloween. The party's gonna be fun."

Caroline nodded blankly. "Yeah, free beer, free food, you'll forget about your makeover in no time." She said, trying to convey positivity and humor into her voice.

Katherine and Silas looked at her. "Are you okay?" He asked tentatively. "Because we heard about Stefan being _such_ a royal ass and being really rude to you, and for some reason you like him, so..."

"I'm fine." She shrugged. "Thanks guys, but really, if he doesn't care, then neither do I."

Katherine frowned at her, and seemed about to say something, when Enzo interrupted.

"Guys, we'd best get going, that is, if we wanna merrily chomp and anuerysm our way through crowds of people, even if we're only a five minute drive away." He joked, before heading out the door. "Of course, I'd like to do the latter, so..."

"Great." Caroline said, picking up her bag.

Silas jumped up, frowning at himself in the mirror at his black eyeliner, before receiving a glare from Katherine that changed his mind, heading out with Enzo. Katherine lagged behind with Caroline.

"You sure you're okay? Because you seem different."

Caroline mentally groaned in her head. "Yeah, obviously I feel a little...upset that Stefan and I and friends any longer, but I'm fine. Really." Technically that was the truth. She didn't feel anything for Stefan anymore, so he no longer hurt or upset her.

"Hmm. Because you didn't seem to mind at all Enzo casually mentioning that he was going to feed on people tonight, when that normally drives you crazy." Katherine said, looking at her pointedly.

Caroline tried to laugh it off. "Katherine, Enzo always jokes about eating people. It's not really shocking anymore."

"But to you it always is. You can't stand it. Unless...ooh." Katherine turned to face her, and with a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, Caroline could see the cogs turning in her head.

"Flipping off our humanity switch. Clever. Do I dare ask how that came to pass?" Katherine enquired snarkily.

Caroline smirked, trying to hide her annoyance. She had no idea how Katherine had figured it out, but maybe it was because of the intense contrast between the girl she had been, and the monster she was now. "Nope, unless you want your pretty false eyelashes to be ripped out."

"Touché." Katherine replied snarkily, but Caroline didn't miss the flash of..._disappointment _in her eyes, that strangely invoked some flicker of emotion deep inside her that she couldn't quite pinpoint.

"Come on, guys!" Silas was yelling impatiently. Caroline sighed, before heading downstairs, leaving Katherine behind, shaking her head in amusement.

"Well, I'm sure going to love watching how _this_ turns out."

**-X-**

The party was in full swing when they arrived. People both in fancy dress and casual clothes were in attendance, swarming and milling around the maze. Caroline felt a thrill of excitement chill her spine. Finally, dinner. Of course, she couldn't kill anyone, she would have to restrict herself so none of the vampires in attendance, like Alaric and Elena, could guess what was going on and lock her up.

"I'm going to find the others. I'll see you guys later." Caroline muttered, ignoring Katherine's concerned look, and instead fixating on a girl walking past wearing a T-shirt with fake gore and blood on it. She headed off into the crowd after the girl before Katherine could tell the others about her current predicament and have them stop her from having fun.

She pushed and shoved people away, slipping through spaces to reach her target a few feet away. When the girl headed off into a more secluded area, Caroline followed, speeding in front of her to cut her off.

"Uh...excuse me." The girl said, blinking confusedly at her sudden appearance. Caroline smiled, and moved to the side, then grabbed the girl's arm, looking into her eyes and compelling her.

"Don't scream, don't move." The girl froze, and Caroline let her fangs slip out, pulling the girl's head to the side and biting into her neck, drinking greedily, letting the blood smear; no-one would notice based on her costume. After a minute or so, she pulled back, the girl slightly limp from blood loss.

"Go drink some water. Forget about this." She said, releasing her, licking the remaining blood from her fingers as euphoria buzzed through her system. She saw someone else walk past her, donning a mask with fake blood on it, and smiled, before slinking after him.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket. Irritably, she stopped, watching the guy slip from her view, and pulled it out. Stefan Salvatore flashed across the caller ID.

She pressed ignore.

**-X-**

"You need to go after Caroline and get her back here." Katherine said to Enzo.

Enzo looked at her. "Why? She left without saying anything, she obviously wants to be with her friends."

Katherine rolled her eyes. "_Because, _she's turned off her humanity, dumbass. Find her, distract her before she does anything stupid, do something!"

"What? No she hasn't. She seemed fine-" Silas said, before Katherine cut him off.

"Well of course _you_ wouldn't know!" And then to Enzo, "go, go!" before turning back to her boyfriend. "Where's your phone?"

Silas dug it out of his pocket and handed it to her. "What are you doing?"

"Calling Stefan. He's the only one who can flip her switch."

**-X-**

Caroline watched her third victim leave with a surprising sense of regret.

After having a few drinks, dancing and exploring through the maze on a blood tizzy, she now found herself a little bored. Her system kept her in check, but now all she wanted to do was let go.

"Caroline." She turned around at the male voice, a tiny bubble of hope rising, thinking it was Stefan, until she saw Enzo heading towards her. She quashed the bubble, burying it inside her and headed over to him.

"Hey! Great party, right?" She said, giving him a bright smile.

"Yeah," Enzo muttered distractedly. He grabbed her arm. "Look, maybe...maybe we should go home."

"What? Why?" Caroline asked. Her voice was harsh, so she immediately smiled to soften the blow. "We've just got here." She frowned. "Wait, did Katherine say something was wrong, because I was speaking to her -"

He sighed and stepped closer. "You've flipped your switch haven't you? Katherine was right, you're...different."

Caroline laughed him off. "What? Just because I lose a friendship, acting different means I turned off my humanity? I think you and Katherine need to recheck your diagnostics."

"Nice try, Caroline, but he wasn't just a friend to you, was he? He really hurt you, no-one would blame you for escaping the pain, just let us help you -"

He was cut off as a car screeched towards them. Caroline whipped around, hearing it before she could actually see it, before diving to the side into a bush, the car careening past her. One of the branches sliced down her side, before she managed to twist back around and sit up again.

Enzo had promptly jumped to the other side, cape flashing foolishly behind him, narrowly missing one of the wooden tables. He quickly sprang to his feet, hurrying over to help her up.

"You alright, Blondie?" He asked, breathless, hauling her up by her arm. She sighed irritably and brushed him away. "Yeah."

"Okay," He looked around. "Come on, let's find the others."

She smiled at him. "Good idea. You go that way and I'll -"

"I'm not that stupid, Gorgeous." He muttered. He grabbed her arm again in a steely grip and marched her off through the screaming crowd. They were just approaching the entry to the maze, when Enzo's phone started ringing. He answered it quickly, his face growing tight as the other person spoke on the phone, Caroline's hearing blocked by people screaming to hear the conversation.

"Kat, Kat - calm down, we're coming. Okay? We'll find you." After he hung up, he turned around and took a confused Caroline back in the other direction.

"What's going on?" She asked as they ran along.

"All you'll want to know is we need to hurry up." Enzo said. They took a sharp left into another torn up clearing, where Caroline saw Katherine, next to a lifeless body on the ground. Silas. She was frantically clutching his stomach as though her life depended on it. As she got closer, Caroline could see, could smell, the blood from his wound spreading over his clothes in a horrifying amount.

"What happened?" Caroline asked, shocked. If anyone was likely to die, it wouldn't be Silas, not that easily.

"He-he couldn't move out of the way fast enough, the-the car just hit him in the side and he was thrown right on one of the tables!" Katherine sputtered, tears streaming down her face. "I don't-I don't know any spells -"

"Okay, move." Caroline said, pushing her out of the way before Enzo could react. She bit into her wrist, then shoved it into Silas' mouth, forcing him to drink it down. She knew if she let him die, she would never forgive herself once her humanity was back on, and it would ruin the friendship with Katherine she had slowly built over the last few weeks, so she did it. The blood loss slowed, the skin and broken bones shifted, and then healed over completely.

Silas coughed weakly, and opened his eyes, scanning above him, looking for something. "Katherine..." His eyes found hers, and she sobbed once in relief, squeezing his hand in her bloody one.

"Oh God, thank you...thank you..." She whispered gratefully to Caroline, kissing him on the mouth again and again.

"Huh, wow, Blondie," Enzo sounded shocked. "Thought you flipped your switch?"

Caroline smiled, then at lightning speed, grabbed a stake and then plunged it into Enzo's stomach before he could react. "I have, but it doesn't mean that I've turned into a stereotypical emotionless, idiotic vampire." She snapped the wood in half, leaving some of it still embedded in him, before speeding off.

Honestly, how stupid of them all to think that even emotionless, she wouldn't prove them all wrong.

As she exited the maze, heading out towards the road, she collided with someone, sending her toppling sideways. She quickly straightened, and jumped at the person, fangs out, ready to rip into their throat, when they grabbed her by her upper arm, twisting her towards them, and all of a sudden she was face to face with Stefan.

She looked at him with a cold sneer, and his own icy features seemed to melt. He knew. And she should have relished in the horror in his eyes, but for some reason she just couldn't hate him. She couldn't feel completely empty about him.

"Oh, Caroline." He whispered softly.

And if there was a moment her uncaring stony heart thumped a beat again, she would have had to say it was that.

**-X-**

"Why?"

The first thing he had said to her since carting her off from the mayhem that was the Halloween party.

Caroline laughed, cold and mocking. "_Why_? Are you serious?" He remained silent, face impassive. "Oh, that's right, you couldn't be bothered to stick around and help bring your brother and Bonnie back and let anyone else from your old life help you. Apparently we're not good enough for the oh - so sacred Stefan Salvatore." She smirked, taking sadistic pleasure in the way his jaw ticked and his eyes darkened.

"Look, I was just trying to move on. It wasn't my fault that you and Enzo just turned up unexpected at my house! And I'm sorry you felt you had to turn off your emotions, but what I don't understand is _why_ you did it. Or how you could have been hurting that much." He sighed impatiently. "Please just tell me, Care."

Caroline looked at him coldly. "Sorry, we're not friends anymore, so you aren't privy to the details of my former friendship with you, especially since I've never been important enough for you to treat me with respect when I still cared."

"I'm apologising now." Stefan said. "That's why I'm here, that's why I've been calling. To say sorry for how I treated you."

"Well, next time you want to apologise and do a good deed for a girl, _try_ not to sleep with your ex." Caroline rolled her eyes impatiently.

"Right. She really said that?" He asked, sounding amused. Caroline said nothing, instead choosing the ignoring tactic. He was pushing at her, and she didn't want to face the pain that was loving him _all_ over again.

"She kissed me. I rejected her."

Okay. She hadn't expecting that. Caroline fought back a thrill of happiness that ran down her spine, and pretended to be bored, which she was anyway, but her switch was like a detonating bomb, set to explode and destroy the wall she'd built between her and her emotions.

"Oh, sorry, am I meant to inject a commentary about my feelings on the matter?" She turned away. "But wait! I don't feel anything, so that must have ruined your amazing plan to win me over."

"My amazing plan doesn't just involve telling you about Elena and I, you know. Caroline, you're a good person. You don't run from your problems, you shouldn't be running from this."

She snorted, and giggled, sounding insane to her ears. "Says the one person who doesn't do anything but. You're a hypocrite, you know. Do you think I'm stupid? As soon as you flip my switch and raise my hopes again, you'll run for the hills as always, because Damon will still be dead, and that's an acceptable enough reason for you."

"I ran, but then I stopped."

"No, you ran, and I chased, but when I gave up, you realised your life was much funner with me stalking you, and _then_ you stopped. To start the whole humiliating process all over again." She corrected coldly. "You can go now, in case you can't tell, you're not wanted." She added, pushing away the niggling protests at the back of her mind, begging him to stay.

"_Caroline_." There it was again. That tone, the way only he said her name that nearly, nearly somehow managed to send her heart into a tailspin, pushing up the buried nostalgia. She turned away and he stepped closer, brushing her hair back with his hand. "Please come back."

Shivers spread down her spine as he stared at her, brow furrowed in concern and frustration. Even now, he still didn't understand why she wouldn't come back. And she didn't think he ever truly would. That was the price of loving Stefan Salvatore. Her emotions faded away once more, as she refused them, pushed them away from her conscience and she grabbed his arm, shoving it away from her face.

"You shouldn't have done that." She snapped and without thinking twice, she violently grabbed his shoulders and twisted, before he could even register what had happened. His head lolled back as she let him slump to the floor, smirking in triumph.

_Freedom_. Now she had to leave, before Elena or Alaric found her and vervained her, so she quickly pocketed Stefan's car keys, injected him with his vervain intended for her, and shoved a pole through his back, pinning him to the floor, and rendering him immobile, before locking the door. But there was one more thing she wanted to do.

She smirked as she painted the outside wall of the garage in her own blood. It said _poof!_ She knew if Enzo found it, he'd find it funny. Just her representing all the times Stefan Salvatore had poofed away from her life.

Now, to drive off into the sunset. And start her own brand of nightmares in her newfound freedom.

**Okay, first of all, I just want to apologise for not updating for over a year. There admittedly isn't really an excuse, except for exams, other story ideas, and the fact that I completely lost inspiration for this fic. I think I will only do a few more chapters, since it isn't fair to any of you who actually like this having to wait so long for an update, but I promise I will start to update quicker. I am so sorry if there are any who want the story to be longer, I just don't have the inspiration any more, and I don't think there is a lot more to this story. I also want to thank the people who kept favoriting, following and reviewing, encouraging me to continue, it was wonderful to know that there are people still interested in this story. Thank you so much for the support.**


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